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CONFESSIONS OF A NIGHT OWL (WHO ISN’T DEPRESSED, THANK YOU VERY MUCH)

They say nothing good happens after midnight.


Well, they’ve clearly never met a Scottish bartender with a perfect pour, a single mom finally watching something other than Cocomelon in peace, or a combat vet organizing his garage at 1:30 a.m. because it’s the only time the house is quiet. That would be me, by the way. Night isn’t dangerous. For some people, it is the most productive time due to our biology.


Let’s get something straight: being a night owl doesn’t mean you’re a tortured soul, a productivity liability, or circling the mental drain. It just means your brain, like your favorite diner operates best when the rest of the world isn’t yelling.


But try telling that to the headlines that love declaring: “Night Owls More Likely to Be Depressed!” Like staying up late is some kind of crime against happiness.


The Science (Minus the Scary Headlines)


According to a 2024 Stanford study of 75,000 adults, people who go to bed after 1 a.m. are more likely to experience anxiety and depression. But here’s the fine print no one reads: those folks were also waking up early for work. Which means they weren’t sad because it was dark. They were sad because they were exhausted.


Meanwhile, another study from Imperial College London found that night owls who actually got enough sleep (what a concept) scored higher on cognitive tests than morning people. That’s right. Weird sleep, sharp minds. 


Night-Inclined, Day-Impaired


We’re the ones who hit our stride just as everyone else is powering down. While the world is rinsing off the day, we’re drafting business plans, reorganizing spice racks, and answering emails with enthusiasm at 2:12 a.m. I wouldn’t call it quirky, though I wouldn’t mind being categorized that way. This is when the noise stops, and the clarity shows up.


But we struggle in a world built for early birds: 8 a.m. Zooms, morning commutes, chirpy co-workers who treat black coffee like a badge of honor. When society doesn’t match your internal clock, you are forced to choose. Be sleep-deprived or be labeled lazy. Either way, you lose.


The Digital World: Is Flexibility the Fix?


Let us now turn to the increasingly romanticized notion of remote work, specifically, the idea that those who function best at night are uniquely positioned to thrive in this modern landscape, liberated from traditional schedules and office attire.


The reality is more complex.


While several studies indicate that flexible work hours can lead to greater productivity and job satisfaction, particularly among self-directed individuals, the picture is not universally positive. Data from Stanford University, for example, reveals that fully remote work can result in a measurable decline in productivity up to ten percent particularly in environments where structure and connection are lacking.


Now here’s where it gets spicy. Some leaders think working from home makes people lazy. Spoiler: lazy people were already lazy.


Scholarly research backs this up. Traits like conscientiousness and intrinsic motivation predict productivity far more than office walls. A person who dodges responsibility will do it in cubicle lighting or under fairy lights. But someone driven? They’ll deliver, whether they’re in pajamas or suit.


So instead of obsessing over when or where people work, maybe we focus on who we’re hiring and whether we give them enough trust to show up fully.


So What’s the Fix?


It is not to cancel mornings or outlaw alarms (though I am not opposed). The solution is giving people room to align with their biology, not punish them for it.

 

Let Brenda keep her sunrise smoothies. Let Brandon send emails after dark. Build systems around results, not rituals. And for God’s sake, stop pretending people who sleep at 1 a.m. are one crescent moon away from ruin.

 

We are not broken. We are just built different. And honestly? It is working.



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